Sunday, September 23, 2007

Multi-millions aren't enough anymore

There has been some buzz in the sports world lately stemming from a recent article for New York Magazine. It has been speculated that Alex Rodriguez's agent could possibly negotiate a deal for Arod to opt out of his contract with the Yankees at the end of the year and go to the Cubs (who are up for sale and have yet to announce new owners). A part of the deal could be partial ownership of the Cubs. While all of this is speculation through sources, it opens up a number of ethical questions and if there is any truth to the sources quite a few people could lose big and face disciplinary action, including both Rodriguez's agent and the Cubs' potential owners.

The biggest issue, however, is the possibility that a player could obtain partial ownership of a team as part of a playing contract. While it has been done in the past, the conflict of interest it creates would not and could not benefit the sport. No player should own any part of the team they play for, regardless of the size of their share. While it is customary for a company to offer profit sharing to its employees, the scale of possible team ownership by a multi million dollar player doesn't compare. A team's profits aren't necessarily directly related to winning and losing. There is team sponsorship, advertising, merchandising, ticket sales and a host of other things that an individual player has no effect on. Awarding partial ownership to an active player is a distraction to both that player as well as the rest of the team.

It also would allow teams to get over budgeting and salary issues by substituting partial ownership for actual salary, the value of which fluctuates over time. While you can put constraints on teams who are thinking of offering contracts like this, it's hard to draw the line at dollar amounts or percentages. Major League Baseball needs to start looking into putting regulations into place to cover this situation. As contracts continue to grow into the multi-millions, teams, players, and agents will be looking to capitalize on the team's assets as well as use those assets to get ahead in the bargaining process.

[Update: It seems that the Collective Bargaining Agreement contains language that would prevent players from owning stake in a team. Darren Rovell educates.]

Friday, September 21, 2007

Sports Figures Who Need To STFU

A little while ago I brought you Sports Figures Who Need To Grow Some Balls. Today, let's explore Sports Figures Who Need To Shut The Fuck Up.

Donavan McNabb. Seriously, is there anything more cliche than the black athlete complaining about the oppression of black athletes? It's been done. Besides, if you had a win under your belt you might have a shot at legitimacy. But when you're 0-2, you just sound like a whiny bitch in a gay looking uniform making excuses. You're not being criticized because you're black. You're being criticized because you suck. Get over it, throw some touchdowns and shut the fuck up.

The NFL. The whole Patriots cheating scandal has proven that the NFL is the mafia of the major sports organizations. An Italian guy snitched, knee caps were broken, monetary punishment was assessed and evidence was destroyed. In the interest of safety, everyone involved should shut the fuck up. You know, they are breaking ground on that new stadium in Jersey. When Mangini disappears, I don't know nothin'.

Red Sox fans. Shut the fuck up. You blew a 14.5 game division lead. 2004 was a long time ago. You can go back to being the red headed step child now.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Yankees Will Now Take Your Dignity

Despite an obvious sabotage attempt by Mariano Rivera, the Yankees were able to take this weekend's series from Boston 2 games to 1. It also means the Yanks are 10-8 against the Sox on the season, giving Red Sox fans everywhere reason to be ashamed. I mean, what's the point of the Red Sox winning the division if they can't beat the Yankees. What's that? The playoffs you say? Yeah. We'll see you there.

Here are a few things we've learned from this weekend's series:

When Boston loads the bases in the bottom of the ninth, down one run and Big Papi at the plate, Sarah loses her mind and cries like a little girl.

The Yankees need to hurry up and spank Joba into shape before Rivera single handedly sinks the ship.

Watching Clemens and Schilling pitch the same game is like watching two water buffalo slowly kicking each other to death over the course of 4 hours.

Youkilis could make a successful living as a human target for the Yankees bullpen.

You cannot deny that Derek Jeter is clutch. Yeah yeah, and he's hot too. I get it.

Red Sox fans? Waaaay dumber than Yankees fans.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Blogging with Breasts

BallHype gathered a few of the sexiest sports bloggers in the blogosphere (including yours truly) to chat around the roundtable and talk about sports, blogging, and who we fantasize about. Check out Blogging with Breasts when you get a minute.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Eli Manning's Sex Change

[click on image for full view]


When NFL.com jumps on the wagon and starts calling you girl names, you know you need to grow a set. We all know Eli Manning is a pussy, but this is just mean.

Update: Yes, Eli's birth name actually Elisha, yet NFL.com has never listed him as such. This can only mean one thing: NFL.com's new weekend editor? One Peyton Manning.


Thanks to Unsilent Majority for helping my computer illiterate ass with the screen grab. Oh, and for being a cool motherfucker.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Fantasy Football Trash Talk of the Week: Week One

So, I won this week in 2 out of 3 fantasy football leagues. Not a bad way to start the year. I promised you I'd bring you the trash talk of the week. My plan is to highlight some of the best bitch slapping comments from each of the league's email threads. Here they are:

KSK League:
“ “

League 2
“ “

League 3

“ “

No, that's not a typo. Not one bit of trash talk, yo momma jokes, or anything in between. What the fuck happened to my leagues?? Now, League 3 is one I've been in for years and they've recently let 2 other women in, one of whom is pregnant and the wife of another owner. It has now become the Bitch League and I'm none too pleased with it. But I thought I had 2 other leagues to pick up the slack.

League 2 is a league of a friend of mine and only a few people there know me personally. Being the only girl, I expected reservations. But after week one I'm in first place and not one other owner has talked shit about it. Not one.

But of all of them, I'm most disappointed in the KSK boys. Apparently all of the shit talk is reserved for the site because there was not one ounce of trash talk this week. These guys are masters of verbal insults. The Yodas of trash talk. Goddam ranting geniuses.

Fucking get it together guys. Seriously.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Manning down! Manning down!

Yes. I drafted Jared Lorenzen in one of my fantasy leagues. A quick check of his stats just now showed that 0% of fantasy owners own Lorenzen. Which means it's quite possible that I'm the only person in fantasy football with the foresight genius optimism to draft him.

According to the NFL Network, Eli Manning has a separated shoulder. Manning says he has a bruised shoulder. Coach Tom Coughlin claims it's sprained. If you ask the PR staff, it's a bruised acromioclavicular joint. This proves two things. One, that the Giants have no clue what the hell is going on. And two, the Giants PR staff got the Big Book of Medical Terms for Christmas.

What does this mean for the Giants? It means that they're finally forced to see what their QB depth can do and Lorenzen has a shot to prove himself worthy. Unfortunately, it's not under the greatest of circumstances with more than a few starters injured and a Green Bay defense ready to capitalize in week 2. There's no middle ground – either Lorenzen plays a stellar game or he completely shits the bed.

As for Eli, his starting job is safe regardless of Lorenzen's performance. His injury came at the end of a 312 yard, 4 touchdown game, which is a far cry from last year's mediocre stats. The biggest factor will be the number of weeks he is out for and without any definite answers from the Giants on the severity of his injury, it's useless to speculate. Manning is a delicate flower and any extended injury threatens to derail momentum and further damage his girlish psyche.

As for Lorenzen, he gets the game start but should be get the fantasy start? Absolutely not. That doesn't mean that I won't do it, 'cause that's how I roll.

Friday, September 7, 2007

A peek into my mind

For those of you who are curious as to what goes on behind the curtains of my mind, check out the interview I did with JP of Pyle of List.

This weekend is the start of 4 great months. I have three fantasy football teams - which is guaranteed to drive me insane - and I follow a team who is sure to have me taking antidepressants by the end of the season. I'll be keeping you all posted on the KSK Fantasy League, as well as highlighting the trash talk of the week from all three leagues.

Since I've totally phoned it in this week (aside from my Tragedy Bowl brilliance) I'm going to leave it at that. May you all have a weekend filled with football, beer, good food, and lots of sex. That's all you need in life really.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

WOO HOO!!!!!!!

Happy first day of the greatest 4 months of the year!!!

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

ACC review: Week 1

As some of you know, I'm handling the ACC previews and reviews over at Loser With Socks. Head on over to see my review of Week 1.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Tragedy Bowl

We all know the media loves to exploit human interest stories to appeal to the viewers. The announcers of the Virginia Tech game this weekend spent just as much time talking about the shootings as they did calling the actual game. This weekend's Virginia Tech/LSU game is sure to be the media's Tragedy Bowl with the Massacre being the odds on favorite in Vegas over Katrina. Here are a few ways to capitalize on both tragedies for the sake of a story:



Instead of tossing young co-eds in the air for every point scored, fans will toss various electronics they've looted from local stores.



The halftime show, sponsored by the NRA, will feature the Dancing Seung-Hui Chos.



Instead of the teams ceremoniously running into the stadium before the game, the players will start inside and run out, evacuation style.



The cheerleaders will doff their usual skimpy uniforms for hip waders and bullet proof vests.



Each time a player is hurt, the medics will institute a delayed response, waiting until the player begins self treatment before offering assistance.



Before the game, FEMA will sponsor a tailgate party, promising party tents to everyone in attendance but only actually providing 4 for everyone to share.



The Teddy Bears for Guns fundraiser will be held prior to the game. Any student turning in a teddy bear will receive a handgun in return.



Students showing evidence of being declared mentally ill will receive a free game ticket.




Additional plans are in review. Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments.