Friday, October 5, 2007

Yankees Words of Wisdom

Well obviously there's been much coverage of the Yankees beat down at the hands of the Indians. Wang blew it like a whore at a banker's convention. What can the Yankees possibly have to say? Let's take a look some of the wise words uttered to the media by the boys in pinstripes:

"They just were hitting everything," Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez said. "Even their outs were hard."
Well that just proves it. Smart guy. And totally not gay.

"Let's just get over it and lick our wounds and then we'll figure it out," New York manager Joe Torre said.
Yeah. We've got plenty of time before tonight's game. We'll talk about the loss, take some bubble baths, cry over it with some red wine and Ben & Jerry's, and then we'll figure it out. Good plan.

"We needed to stop them," said Johnny Damon, who hit a disputed homer leading off the game. "We couldn't stop their offense. Everything they were hitting went out of the park. You definitely don't want to see that happen in the first game."
And by “we” you mean “Wang”, right?

"I thought it was exactly the game plan we wanted to execute," Rodriguez said.
Ah, I get it. You're hustling them. Get shelacked and make them think you suck. And then win when they're least expecting it. Carry on then.

"I feel today wasn't good," Wang said. "Maybe I worked too quick."
Yeah, that's it. You were too quick. You were Johnny Fucking Quick. The goddamn Flash. Slow it down next time. Genius.

[This post also appears on Babes Love Baseball]