Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Yankees Will Now Take Your Dignity

Despite an obvious sabotage attempt by Mariano Rivera, the Yankees were able to take this weekend's series from Boston 2 games to 1. It also means the Yanks are 10-8 against the Sox on the season, giving Red Sox fans everywhere reason to be ashamed. I mean, what's the point of the Red Sox winning the division if they can't beat the Yankees. What's that? The playoffs you say? Yeah. We'll see you there.

Here are a few things we've learned from this weekend's series:

When Boston loads the bases in the bottom of the ninth, down one run and Big Papi at the plate, Sarah loses her mind and cries like a little girl.

The Yankees need to hurry up and spank Joba into shape before Rivera single handedly sinks the ship.

Watching Clemens and Schilling pitch the same game is like watching two water buffalo slowly kicking each other to death over the course of 4 hours.

Youkilis could make a successful living as a human target for the Yankees bullpen.

You cannot deny that Derek Jeter is clutch. Yeah yeah, and he's hot too. I get it.

Red Sox fans? Waaaay dumber than Yankees fans.


Frank White said...

Its not that the Yankees like to hit Youkilis in particular, its just that his enormous, oddly shapen head keeps getting int he way. His head is so big I'm surprised he maintains equilibrium.

10-8 season record against the Sox? I'll take that.

theoriginaljd said...

I'd just like to point out that I spent last night smashing my face against my office desk.

I'm one more loss away from jumping off the Tobin Bridge with a J.D. Drew jersey tied to a bucket full of cement in my hands.