We all know the media loves to exploit human interest stories to appeal to the viewers. The announcers of the Virginia Tech game this weekend spent just as much time talking about the shootings as they did calling the actual game. This weekend's Virginia Tech/LSU game is sure to be the media's Tragedy Bowl with the Massacre being the odds on favorite in Vegas over Katrina. Here are a few ways to capitalize on both tragedies for the sake of a story:
Instead of tossing young co-eds in the air for every point scored, fans will toss various electronics they've looted from local stores.
The halftime show, sponsored by the NRA, will feature the Dancing Seung-Hui Chos.
Instead of the teams ceremoniously running into the stadium before the game, the players will start inside and run out, evacuation style.
The cheerleaders will doff their usual skimpy uniforms for hip waders and bullet proof vests.
Each time a player is hurt, the medics will institute a delayed response, waiting until the player begins self treatment before offering assistance.
Before the game, FEMA will sponsor a tailgate party, promising party tents to everyone in attendance but only actually providing 4 for everyone to share.
The Teddy Bears for Guns fundraiser will be held prior to the game. Any student turning in a teddy bear will receive a handgun in return.
Students showing evidence of being declared mentally ill will receive a free game ticket.
Additional plans are in review. Feel free to add your suggestions in the comments.