Jumping the Gun: Previewing the 2008 Yankees Coaches

Although the 2007 season is far from over, this Yankees fan is already looking forward to next year, the Yankees' final season in that history-filled dump at East 161st Street & River Avenue. Let's end this ridiculous exercise with the coaching staff:

• Manager (2007): Joe Torre
• Manager (2008): Don Mattingly

Regardless of how the Yankees finish this season, Joe Torre will not be fired. Still, his contract is up, he's put the finishing touches on his Hall of Fame resume, he's passed Casey friggin Stengel on the all time Yankee win list, and he's just fucking tired. Retire, write a book, embark on TV career, make big time bucks as a featured speaker, etcetera. He may have not always made the right moves or properly used his roster but screw you, he's Joe Torre and you're not.

So why Don Mattingly and not Joe Girardi? Because Mattingly didn't become bench coach so he could eventually be passed over by some has-been catcher who got way too much credit for a shitty team that overachieved to mediocrity. Mattingly is ready now!

• General Manager (2007): Brian Cashman
• General Manager (2008): Brian Cashman

C'mon, if you're a free agent and you have to decide which team to sign with, wouldn't you choose the name CASHman over the name, oh, lets say...Epstein?

• Supporting Cast (2007): Larry Bowa, Joe Kerrigan, Ron Guidry, Kevin Long, Don Mattingly, Rich Monteleone, Tony Pena, Rob Thomson
• Supporting Cast (2008): all the same except Mike Pagliarulo becomes Don Mattingly's bench coach because he is just an awesome and super-knowledgeable baseball ultra-genius who never ever has his head up his ass.

I have nothing to add to that hilarious statement.

• Famous Dead Yankee (2007): Phil Rizzuto
• Famous Dead Yankee (2008): Yogi Berra

Time's up, Yog.

-Rob Iracane