Monday, August 20, 2007

Jumping the Gun: Previewing the 2008 Yankees Infield

Although the 2007 season is far from over, this Yankees fan is already looking forward to next year, the Yankees' final season in that history-filled dump at East 161st Street & River Avenue. Let's start with the infielders:

  • Catcher (2007): Jorge Posada
  • Catcher (2008): Jose Molina
Look, I love Jorge as much as the next guy, and if it weren't for Derek Jeter, he'd probably be captain of this team. Still, he'll be a free agent coming off a career year so the value for the Yankees just won't be there. I'll let Posada cash in and make some coin for a few years, because I fucking care. Re-sign Jose Molina or any Molina for that matter.
  • First Base (2007): Doug Mientkiewicz, Jason Giambi, Andy Phillips, Josh Phelps, Miguel Cairo, Johnny Damon, Shelley Duncan, Shelley Winters, Lou Gehrig, Stuffy McInnis, and Santa Claus
  • First Base (2008): Doug Mientkiewicz
I'm totally gay for Dougie's glove. Giambi stays with the team as DH because, well, we can't trade him and we can't kill him.
  • Second Base (2007): Robinson Cano
  • Second Base (2008): Robinson Cano
Enough of the Rod Carew comparisons, Michael Kay. Cano is no Carew. If anything, he's a Bret Boone-type who will strive too much to hit home runs later in his career and then fizzle out. But we'll take him for now. He's only for now!
  • Third Base (2007): Alex Rodriguez
  • Third Base (2008): Alex Rodriguez
An open letter to Scott Boras: Love is a two-way street, Scotty Boy. Alex is going to get his $30 million one way or another, so let's make it nice and easy for the both of us. Extend his fucking contract so we can still get our little stipend from Tom Hicks and his team of no licks. How many more trophies and plaques and original paintings do we have to throw at your client to let him know that we LOVE him? With regards, Someone Who Has Always Cheered For A-Rod Even While Everyone Else Booed
  • Shortstop (2007): Derek Jeter
  • Shortstop (2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015): Derek Jeter
He's so fucking dreamy.

Later, I'll tackle the outfielders. Not literally. I don't think I could wrap my arms around Bobby Abreu's fat legs.

-Rob Iracane


Anonymous said...

Oh, Robbie! You so dreemy!

Anonymous said...

hey its sandy, here is the website i was talking about where i made the extra summer cash.......... the website is here

Rob I said...

Thanks sandy! I could use some extra summer cash, fucker!

extrapolater said...

Oh, sure, Sandy made her cash on a website, not a street corner. Like we believe that.

Unsilent Majority said...

Sandy doesn't understand anonymous commenting.

Handride said...

what about Posada at first, I like that deal a lot. And, I'm not positive Jorgie leaves us, we could probably get him for 80% of the highest bidder, he knows the value of retiring a yankee and the possibility of a few more rings and getting his # retired.

Anonymous said...

Rob? Deadspin CO Rob? you're a Yankee fan AND a supporter of A-Rod even throughout last year's "fan" bullcrap behavior? YOU'RE the dreamy one! (fans self) - love, Aloysius [a girl :)]

Rob I said...

Aloysius, the only Yankee I ever booed was Tanyon Sturtze. He raped my dog.

T. W. said...

Doug Mientkiewicz at first in 2008? You had me until there. I'll take a poor fielding Shelly Duncan or an average Andy Phillips any day.

On another note, the Milkman Delivers!!!

SportsGirl365 said...

Rob, you fucking rock. This was the best post I've seen on this crappy blog in weeks.