Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Women are ruining sports

Ladies, go ahead and write the hate mail but hear me out before you hit send. (Also understand that I'm only serious about 10% of the time I'm writing on this blog. This is probably not one of those times.)

Sports has always been a haven for men and the place where guys go to bond over drinking, swearing, and objectifying cheerleaders. It is, in essence, a brief escape from the bitching of women, be it wives, moms, or girlfriends. And it has worked because, for the most part, sports were something that women had no interest in watching.

As more and more women are taking an interest in sports such as football and baseball, men are seeing their “haven” invaded by their women and it’s threatening to take away the one thing that was solely theirs. (Aside from poopy towels. Women want no part of that.) And I can’t imagine they like it one bit. Take me for example. I’m a lifelong sports nut who participates in three fantasy football leagues in which I’m the only female. Thirty-five guys who have welcomed a female into their heavily guarded tree fort, yet there’s always one who feels put out by the presence of a woman. This year is no different and the only thing I can do (after telling him to suck it up and stop crying) is to understand where he is coming from.

The presence of women means that men feel the need to “clean up”, be it their appearance, language, or behavior. While women are enjoying sports more and more, it doesn’t change their views on the crude behavior and the result is frustration on both sides. For couples, spending time apart is necessary in maintaining a healthy relationship and watching the game with his buddies was usually a man’s “me time”. No guy wants to watch his starting fantasy running back break into a 75 yard touchdown run, only to turn around and hear “Great play. Honey, did you remember to take out the trash before we left?”

Now, as women are demanding to be involved in said sports watching, it’s left little room for men to escape. And it’s not just the husband or boyfriend who is affected. A man who has just scored front row seats to the game now has a decision to make where previously it was a no-brainer. He has to at least consider taking his woman and his buddy could be left watching on TV, thinking, “Fuck. I should have told that bitch about the hooker in Vegas when I had the chance. Then she would have broken up with him and I’d be at the game.”

Now there are exceptions to this and it all depends on various situations. My guy friends love watching games with me because I always equally contribute to the vulgar language, excessive drinking and cheerleader ogling. (It’s also why wives and girlfriends hate me and why my male friends have to use a guy’s name when they put my number in their cell phone. Stupid bitches.) If I were a girlfriend or wife however, it would be different. I would not be as welcomed, as the presence of a wife changes the dynamic.

So, yes. Women sports fans are ruining sports for the men who watch them.


Rob I said...

Next thing you know, they'll give women the vote. I'm outraged!

Jack Cobra said...

I am in the process of sending this to my girlfriend....excellent work!

Monday Morning Punter said...

The only thing worse than wives at games are children at games. Too bad all the good sweatshops are in Asia. We could use some cheap Nikes over here, too.

More Credible said...

God bless your friends... bless them. I wish my girlfriends would just watch a fucking game with me. They're too busy talking about cooking and how shitty their boyfriends treat them.

I hope one day a linebacker blind-sides them.

Femmefan said...

You're just the type of women men need to turn the tide (and i'm talking about soap). Female fans are the answer to all their perverted prayers.
I love the "guys" and I don't mind the farts, the beer, the nasty nachos or the insensitive comments.
Keep up the good work, and when you have a chance stop by www.Femmefan.com and talk a little trash with us.

MCBias said...

Hmm, now I'm curious to read what you think of this: http://mcbias.blogspot.com/2007/03/dear-john-letter-to-females-who-love.html
Are we in agreement or disagreement?

Anonymous said...

agreed women anchors are turning sports center fcking gayyyyyyyyyyy and trendy and colorful and BITCH MADE