Friday, July 6, 2007

Those horses are hardcore

I promised I'd bring back the funny...

Apparently a horse trainer in Kentucky is under investigation by the Kentucky Horse Racing Authority for having a banned substance in his barn. The substance? Cobra Venom. Steroids and HGH? Baseball players are such pussies. Those horse bitches have cobra venom!

The trainer, 55 year old Patrick Biancone, has a history of his horses testing positive for banned substances.

"The June 22 search of Biancone's barns was conducted after one of Biancone's horses who raced in Kentucky tested positive for a derivative of caffeine and for a derivative of an inhalant, both of which are banned for raceday use, according to the source. Biancone also has a pending medication case in Southern California. The horse Iron Butterfly, trained at the time by Biancone, tested positive for salmeterol, a bronchodilator, in a January race at Santa Anita."


Two other prize horses, coincidentally named Bonds and Clemens, were also tested. Those test results will not be released due to the fact that the head of the racing organization is afraid of one and the other races for Steinbrenner.

3 comments:

Unsilent Majority said...

Can't they just put engines on those fuckin' equines already?

Signal to Noise said...

I'm revealing comic book nerd here, but every time I see "venom" associated with stimulants/drugs, I keep thinking of Bane from Batman.

UM's on to something -- give us cyber-horses.

McAdory said...

It is just on race day, it really isn't that illegal. You can use certain training inhibitors, just not Yack semen, or Shark piss.