Monday, July 23, 2007

How dare you, sir!

So it seems that someone took offense to my Huffington Post column from yesterday and while I’m not one to argue (I almost typed that with a straight face), I felt the need to comment. It’s not like I haven’t blasted a writer for being an idiot before so I guess I had it coming eventually, but if you’re going to debate something please be clear on what the original writer was saying and stick to it. Just a suggestion.

And let me state now that this is in no way an attempt to start a blogger fight. Blogger fights are just pathetic. It starts with a few innocent comments and the next thing you know, one blogger calls another blogger an “actual journalist” and feelings get hurt. There’s no need for that.

So here’s a little point-counter point. Or is it counter point-counter counter point since I made the point first? Or does that matter? Can I get a ruling on this?

The Huffington Post's designated sports blogger Sarah Schorno describes herself as "marginally qualified to write about sports and the social issues it encompasses."

Well, let me start by saying that I warned you. Had I said “extremely qualified” you’d have a right to ask for your money back.

Her first observation -- that rather than register surprise at the NBA ref scandal, people were more likely to wonder which ref it actually was -- appears to have been lifted from a Bill Simmons column earlier on the subject.

Actually, my column pre-dates Simmons’ column so I suggest you “mailbag” him. Had I wanted to mimic Simmons, I would have live-blogged about listening to Pearl Jam in Vegas with Kimmel while mentioning no less than 5 “celebrity” friends.

Maybe that's for the best, however, because the results are much worse when she actually does attempt to go beyond a glib, derivative observation.

Now I know how Matt Lauer felt when Tom Cruise called him glib. It’s not that bad, actually.

However, to suggest, like Schorno does, that steroids were ignored by baseball prior to the FBI knocking down the front doors of BALCO is simply not accurate. Though it would take BALCO and an embarrassing day in front of a congressional committee for baseball to get serious about the penalties for steroid use, there was certainly an acknowledgment of the problem at least year before BALCO broke…

Acknowledging a problem and solving a problem are two different things. Which was kind of the point of my column. No, actually it was the point. Or was it the counter-point? Have we gotten a ruling yet?

Schorno is like every other hack journalist out there who believes that the issue of steroids in baseball begins and ends with Barry Bonds…

Woah, dude. Hold on one second. I may be a hack, but I’m certainly no journalist. And I never said or implied that Bonds was the only steroids issue in baseball. I said his was the case that made people outside of the league pay attention. I also said he was a douchbag. What? I didn’t? Well, I meant to.

… I'd invite Schorno to compare apples to apples and explain why she thinks -- as I assume she does -- the NFL's record on steroids, both past and present, is so much better than Major League Baseball's.

You know what happens when we assume, Shyster? You start the night out talking to what you “assume” is a pretty, single blonde and you wake up 4 Zimas later next to a tranny hooker. What does that mean? I don’t really know. I just wanted to use a tranny hooker reference.

So I guess what I’m saying is that it’s OK to disagree. That’s the point of my very opinionated HuffPo columns. It’s meant to make you think and inspire debate. But if you decide to whip your dick out and make a man of yourself, at least make sure you’re on point. You should also make sure your blog picture doesn’t look like you walked into a kitchen where Chris Hansen was hiding behind a curtain. Just a suggestion.


theoriginaljd said...

Just brilliant. A tranny hooker joke and a Chris Hansen reference. This post had it all.

It's this point where I would make some sexist remark like - gee for a girl this is pretty funny. But since you already hate me for being a Red Sox fan we'll just let it go.

theangryt said...

very funny response. The best part might be this guy's picture. I do have to hand it to Powder for getting out of that basement he lived in the movie and learning how to operate a computer.

SportsGirl365 said...

This guy takes himself waaaaaay too seriously. At least his site traffic has doubled to 30 since I wrote this.

DCScrap said...

damn. remind me not to make you mad.

The Sports Hernia said...

"Glib" - amazing.