Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wears Stilettos To A Ballgame Girl

After writing Really Long Heckle Guy a few weeks ago, I’ve begun to notice that there are various versions of “That Fan” milling about the stadium. I’ve decided to write a regular post about it. Today’s is dedicated to “Wears Stilettos To A Ballgame Girl”.

We’ve all seen you Stiletto Girl. We watch you walking up the bleacher steps in a miniskirt and 4 inch heels, secretly (ok, not so secretly) hoping you’ll trip. Was it a surprise that you were going to the game? Were you on the way to a club and decided to stop by for a few innings to kill time? Because that might be acceptable. But alas, we all know you stood in front of the mirror trying on pair after pair of towering footwear, looking for the perfect ones to match your pink Yankee shirt. Did the $10 price of the ticket not clue you in as to appropriate dress code? And shame on you Boyfriend Of Stiletto Girl for allowing this atrocity. We see you hiding your face in shame as you walk closely behind her, trying to prevent the entire section from seeing her hoo-ha as she prances up the stairs.

Stiletto Girl, you’re not that cute. Give the feet a break. A trendy pair of sneakers, or even some sandals will do wonders for your “sporty” look. And you won’t look like an ass wearing them.


ShayShay said...

Stiletto girl-often found painting her nails during 'boring' parts of the game.

SportsGirl365 said...

And having "Like, Oh my God" conversations on her jewel covered Razr.

JP said...

I thought about it last night. The closest thing I could find to the male equivalent is the "my haircut costs more than my seats" guy or a guy I like to call "the incorrect heckler".

jp said...

sportsgirl365: "how about 'guy in the business suit with no interest in the game clearly sitting in company seats'"?

Good call. But only if he's chatting loudly on his PDA.